Understanding of how the basic BDSM roles (Switch / Dominant / submissive / top / bottom) are defined by an individual can give you a better insight into how they see this world. These are MY definitions of HEALTHY versions of these roles.
Switch: A person that enjoys multiple roles of the BDSM / kink / fetish dynamics. Some may lean more towards one side then the other. I am a dominant leaning switch. Meaning I enjoy submission but I tend to be more dominant in the roles I take on.
All of the things I have listed on my experience list I have experienced from both sides. I enjoy being spanked almost as much as I enjoy spanking. I love exploring new experiences or things I know well with new people. I am a great guide and can help you take the first step to fulfilling your hidden desires. Whatever you are imagining; I have seen / heard / done / experienced crazier.
Dominant: A person who has been allowed to have control within a clear set of rules and guidelines agreed to by both parties. A good dominant takes the time to get to know those that are willing to submit to them. Learns their likes/dislike/needs/wants and helps their submissives explore and try new things. Always respectful & aware of safety, limits, fears, and medical/psychological concerns.
Submissive: Someone who offers to relinquish control of their body and mind to someone else within a clear set of rules and guidelines agreed to by both parties. Submissives should be well versed and knowledgeable about the things they are allowing someone to do to them. Trusting someone with your safety and mental health is not a casual decision. Trust should be established and clear communication is a must.
Top: The person performing an action. A “top” can be submissive or dominant depending on the situation. If I tell someone submissive to suck my toes they are topping because they are performing the action. If I spank someone I am topping because I am performing the action.
Bottom: The person having something done to them. A “bottom” can be submissive or dominant depending on the situation. If I tell someone submissive to suck my toes I am bottoming because I am having my toes sucked. If I spank someone they are the bottom because they are getting spanked.
Abuse: Ignoring or forcing someone to do something they have not agreed to when emotionally stable and sober.
Enthusiastic CONSENT: If a question is asked then I need a clear enthusiastic "YES", "Love to", "That sounds amazing" before I will proceed. Hesitation or comments like "Maybe later", "I'm not sure", "I'm not really in the mood", "I need to talk to my friend first", " Maybe next time" are all subtle ways to say "NO".
"No" does not change once a session has started. Any change to a "no" needs to be discussed at a later time and should never be changed in the middle of a session or scene. There are to many emotions , chemicals, feelings that can come out during a scene / session and ALL discussions about limits should be done with a clear head.
*AT ANY TIME a clear "Yes" can change to a "No". This is done with safe words for more advanced players but for new clients a simple "no" will stop the scene unless specifically agreed upon.
Please feel free to email me with specific questions or comments about these descriptions. AGAIN..... These are MY definitions and interpretations that I have adopted over the years.
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